Writing your wedding vows is a unique and personal journey that allows you to express your love and commitment to your partner in a way that is distinctly yours.
Whether you’re going for heartfelt, humorous, or a mixture of both, here are some top tips to help you write vows that resonate.
Reflect on Your Relationship
Before you put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, take a moment to reflect on your journey as a couple. What are the milestones that stand out? What challenges have you overcome together? Consider the moments that have defined your relationship, as these can serve as beautiful inspiration for your vows.
Think about when you first realised you loved your partner, what your favourite memories together are, and how your partner has changed you for the better.
Discuss Your Vision Together
While your vows are personal, they’re still part of a shared experience. Sit down with your partner to discuss what you both envision for your vows. This doesn’t mean you have to write them together, but it can help ensure your tones and themes align.
Think about the length of your vows – do you want them to be short and sweet or longer and more elaborate? Would you both be comfortable with humour and a more light-hearted tone?
Use Your Own Voice
Your vows should sound like they are coming from you! Avoid clichés and use language that feels natural. If you don’t usually speak like a character from a period drama, now is not the time to begin doing so! This authenticity will resonate more with both you and your guests. Write as if you’re having a heartfelt conversation with your partner. Try reading your vows out loud to see if they flow well.
Make Promises That Matter
Wedding vows are about promises and commitments. Think about the specific promises that are meaningful to your relationship. They could be serious such as, ‘I promise to support you as you continue to further your dream of becoming a …’, or more light-hearted such as, ‘I promise to continue watch re-runs of … even though it bores me to death’. Whatever tone you adopt, they should reflect your intentions for your future together.
Keep It Personal and Specific
The most touching vows often include specific anecdotes or inside jokes. This personalisation helps to engage your guests and makes your vows feel genuine. Consider mentioning a quirky habit your partner has that you love, or recall a significant event that solidified your love for each other.
Set a Tone for the Future
Your vows should reflect not only your love in the present but also your hopes for the future. Talk about the life you want to build together and the values that will guide you. This doesn’t have to be done in the form of a promise but more as a statement, for example, ‘Together, I believe we can conquer anything life throws our way.’
Practice, Practice, Practice
Once you’ve written your vows, practice reading them several times. This will help you become comfortable with the words and the emotions behind them. Consider rehearsing in front of a trusted friend or family member for feedback.
Be Mindful of Length
Aim for around one to two minutes when delivering your vows. This length allows you to convey your feelings without losing your guest’s attention. If you find yourself writing a longer vow, consider summarising key points to keep it concise.
Have that discussion with your partner and agree on a rough timeframe for your vows. You don’t want them to be ‘lopsided’, with one of you getting emotional for ten minutes and the other uttering two sentences!
Don’t Be Afraid to Get Emotional
Speaking of getting emotional - it’s completely natural to feel a rush of emotions when you read your vows. Don’t hold back! Allow yourself to feel those emotions; it’s part of the beauty of the moment. If you get choked up, take a breath and continue – it’s all part of the experience.
Remember the Big Picture
Finally, remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment to each other. Regardless of how your vows come out, what truly matters is the love you share. Focus on your partner, the journey you’ve been on, and the exciting future ahead.
Writing wedding vows can be a rewarding experience and by reflecting on your relationship, incorporating personal touches, and promising to support each other, you’ll create vows that truly reflect your love story. So take your time, be authentic, and enjoy this special part of your wedding journey.
Happy writing!
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